My last post was in August 2014, in Adelaide. I can almost feel the cool winter air in my small one bed flat in FMC flat. Oh wait, that's just my current temperature in my room, with full blast aircond at 16 degree. LOL !!! (Malaysia's been on a series of heatwave )
I left Adelaide
-___-' (such a 'good' motivation but I DONT CARE !! I wanna submit !!!) Although Atuk did not think so. He told me that I should take another month to review my thesis. Enough is enough Atuk, my tears streamed down immediately when he told me that i should take another month. I told him, the money in my account is not multiplying by itself hahahaha. Although he said he could give me some fund to stay, I refused. I WANT to submit already !!!! PLEASEEEE !!!! plus the Legal department in my Uni in Malaysia had sent me "THAT' letter. Matilamak nak oiiii !!! Finally, on that fine Monday morning. Eh ? Fine Ke?? not so fine, it was VERY windy that my Chocolate milkshake duckscarves wrapped my face not once and not twice but 4 times. I was VERY windy and spitting that day and I finally submitted my thesis. Alhamdulillah !!! it was a HUGE relief. I had been through a lot and i hope and wish nobody else will go through what i have gone through.
Fast forward to December, Marian told me that one of the examiner replied with Minor correction. Which was shocking and unbelievable but Alhamdulillah.... Sujud Syukur !!! and by the end of December another examiner replied saying that he needed more time with my Thesis. Aiyooookkk !!! Cuak beb !! Is this where the Major corrections comes in? But the truth is, this examiner is from Malaysia and he took a new year break because he later replied with Minor Corrections. Alhamdulillah !! Sujud Syukur !!! I've passed my PhD !!! (of course la Minor Correction. It took me like what? 6 years to complete mine, Dr OT once mentioned, if it took you 3 years to complete your thesis, and the result is Minor correction, then you can be considered Hebat, but if it is Major correction, it is okay because 3 years is not long. But if it took you 6 years to do your thesis and it is Major correction, then something is wrong !!! so the my minor correction is nothing, tak la sehebat mana pun, memang sepatutnya pun minor kannnn...
It is such an indescribable feeling. I don't know if i was happy, relief or excited. I couldn't tell. I only remembered the tears as I called my mom because she was in Penang taking care of my sick Aunt. The feeling is Neutral. It is not that it does not have any meaning, but I guess, there's no excitement already, because it has been too long that I was being disowned by my university. It felt almost like being divorced and I became gila talak (not that i had been through such thing hehehe but it almost felt like so). My brother kept telling me to move on and look for some other place that would appreciate me better but my organization engagement towards my university is very strong that the organization commitment is unbreakable. Cewahhh !!!
It was my dream to serve the university, and to help equip my nation to face the future working life. The most important thing is that I love to teach, more of taking actually !!! Dari kecik memang suka pot pet pot pet pot pet kannn.... LOL !!
As for now, I am paid by the hour for part time lecturing and at the rate things are going, I am considered underpaid. but because I simply love what I am doing, I am Happy walaupun, berikat perut jugak la... No branded clothes, handbags, or shoes. Semua cap ayam je or in a league of its own like some Aussie brand and brands that are not popular in Malaysia.
Allah only gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. Handling a PhD with a moving target ( my subject) along with portwine stain on tow is not an easy thing. And having to be disowned by your university for technical and administrative reason ( disowned in 2013 and i only got to know the real reason in 2015.. GREAT!! Yaaa Hoooo), is also a TEST. But what kept me strong is my parents, my siblings, and my ayat seribu dinar, my dhuhas and my Al Mathurat. I don't know how long i can sustain this feeling but I will have to keep on being strong. Insyaa ALLAH
Alhamdulillah, the PhD is mine now.
I'm now Dr Husna. <--- changes="" itu="" je="" nye="" p="" pun..="">
(The feeling is still neutral and I was numb during my graduation ceremony. There 's no feeling although it moved me when Alia told me that she saw my mom wiped happy tears when I was on stage.)
But I am pretty much the same old me, the lousy - most cracked person on earth.
I can scrape off 'PhD' from my bucket list and proceed with others now..
will membebel more in next post hehehehe
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