Unpretty kah?

This version is so Nice !!! cobination of TLC's unpretty and West Side Story's Pretty


UnPretty by TLC

Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty


I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who’s inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I’m just trippin’



You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that mac can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am i, too
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty


Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty


Never insecure until I met you
Now I’m in stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I’ll get back to me (hey)


My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I can’t believe I’m trippin’


As I reflect back on what I’ve used and abused
And detect that I need some clues to get through
To those that accused me of never being true
I’ll lose if I play into this game and never know the rules
So how do I bring out the me nobody sees
The forest for the trees, how ’bout the woman behind the weave
The light from within this life is the only real remedy
Or find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty


Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty

Earlier today, i went blog hopping and i read about this girl who is pretty, and she had some alergy reaction near her eyes. I felt choked when i read the word "hideous' she wrote. The allergy is reddish with some rashes near her eyes. My birthmark is much more worst than that. I suddenly felt sad for myself. There she was, having a small alergy problem and calls it hideous.. so, what i am having is super hideous lah kiranya  becasue i dun only have a red birthmark, it is also swollen (disfigured, the face is not simetrically balance, the skin arround the eyes are extra reddish maroonish in colour). After a big sigh, i finish up reading and hit the X button. I dun wanna upset my feeling.

It is normal for me to feel this way. No words could mend this kind of feeling. It is normal because i have this kind of birthmark. usually people with this birthmark feels the same with low self confidence and all. sometimes i feel tired being stared at. being here in Australia, i am kinda happy because people dun stare at me that much and the people here tend to have sweet tough too hehehehe..  they;ll say they did notie the birthmark on the face and stuff to make you feel better hehehe... but kat Malaysia, not only kids stare at me but also Makcik makcik..  Aihhhh.... TAK SUKEEEE !!!!!!!! the birthmark group i joined pun baru ni ada circulate email about research on bagaimana birthmark ni memberikan impact pada confidence level utk orang orang mcm i dan kebanyakkan majikan tak nak amik orang with birthmark sebab you know why lah kan... Kecantikkan Luaran tu penting

Yeah, we have make up, concealers and all. I am tired of it already. Every single day, i put layers of moisturizers, okay, now i am telling okay,  after i cleans, i dap the toner ( i use Lancome, yeah i have to pay extra and ikat perut because these two are the ones that doesnt dry out my skin), then, one layer of Lancome's Genefique ( again, ikat perut lagi..) but i kinda substitute it with LOREAL's Youth COde serum coz it has the same texture and stuff, the effect is kinda same too. then a layer of moisturiser, I use LOREAL YOUTH CODE day cream with SPF 15, then LOREAL SPF cream with SPF 30,( earlier i used Lancome's tinted SPF 50, but i couldnt afford to ikat my perut any longer hehehehe), then came the make ups... Lets recap dah berapa layer dah, 1, 2, 3 ( sampai SPF).

 

See, i told you they look the same hehehehe.. habis tu dah serum, mesti la kna duduk dalam botol mcm tu kan hehehehe

Now the make up. I use to have difficulties using and trying out foundations, from loreal to in2it, Maybelline ke segala mak nenek lah, SimplySIti pun iya gak, even the SheerCover on TV tu pun but it all doesnt work on me, until Abby my hair stylist used this stick foundation on me. its Kryolan TV stick and HEY PRESTO !!! it works! 100% coverage and its gentle on skin. I have just finished my first stick and now using the second. the first stick lasted me for about a year despite of my heavy everyday usage. worth the money lah.. put the foundation on skin, spread it around the eyes, noce and the birthmark area, then i sprayed my face with air kosong, and ratakan the foundation again.when it is dry, i put on the power by ZA. I really hope they don stop producing the Za powder !! tolong lah coz Maybelline discontinue the powder in green kotak... Huarghhhh jenuh nak cari substitute, i tried aussie's Maybelline but it is dead expensive, Aud 33.80 for a mineral powder, ce convert duit Malaysia tgk..( darap 3 ye..)  So, see, i have to use how many layers to get my face and skintone to look normal !!! hehehehe... Tak baik nak komplain, Dah rezeki ALLAH letak mcm tu kan, 

Kryolan TV stick

Za Powder

So,  After all those stuff, i put on my lipstick and eyeliner je. On special occasion, i put on eyeshadow. if not, i dun. 90% of my time here in Aussie, i dun use eyeshadow at all. eyeliner pun jarang, for lipstick, i only use the tone which is similar to my powder because i don't want other coour on my face. My mom will always nag me to buy a slightly orangy or pinkish lipstick which will always end up with a fight because i dun want to and will keep on buying the light brown lipstick, Currently only SimplySIti i repeat ONLY SimplySiti has the colour that i wanted. Kalau siti pun discontinue her raange, habis lah...

Yeah, sometimes i feel tired with this regime and wanted my skin to breathe, Yeah, i've tried going out with my bare skin and people thought either i was beaten up by my husband ( which i dun have hehehehe) domestic violance victim, i fall down, or i am having skin allergies.. HAHAHAHAHA burst out laughing !! Kelakar ! So, i have no choice but just follow the regime lah  walaupun letih.. Sebab u saya kadang kadang kagum dgn transgender yang sangat cantik mcm perempuan dgn make ups diorang and everyday pun make up mcm tu walaupun, dalam diri dan hati mereka hanya ALLAH yang tahu segalanya, apa yang mereka rasa and stuff. janji jgn tinggal solat dan solat jumaat sudah la... insyallah amin... 

So, Bersyukurlah dgn apa yang ada, Apa yang ALLAH beri, setiap masalah tu ada penyelesaiannya. it is either it is easy or hard to reach. yeah, orang sedapkan hati i by saying, alah, make up kan ada, and buat laser lagi.. Yeah, itu alternative yang ada buat masa ni, untuk benda ni hilang 100% itu adalah sesuatu yang MUSTAHIL. Hanya ALLAH yang tahu, dari ALLAH ia datang, dan Pada ALLAH dia kembali, Kun Faya Kun...

Dan saat saat mcm ni, teringat kata kata hikmat seorang kawan rapat pada suatu malam where i was 100% upset, felt useless and i cried over the phone. eiiii MALUU je.....

He said,

"Don't ever think that you are not beautiful, You are beautiful in your own way.......beauty lies on the hand of beholder...So please, Don't ever say of feel you are not beautiful..."

I guess, he did a fair share of bringing me back the confidence.. Thank You and i still keep the words at times like this to keep moving.. ;)