No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of falling,
No one is afraid to say "I Love You", They are afraid of the response
Those words were taken from one of my dear friend's status update on Facebook. Such a sweet person whom I met when I was doing my Bachelor in UiTM. Helped me a lot jugak la in terms of research methodology dulu.. In fact I still got this person's book with me here in Adelaide.
Looking back at the status update, it is actually true. When I was younger, I was not afraid to go all out for Love. I'd do anything for love, Yeah, I really think I know what I want. I was open, I was confident that I am ready but ALLAH knows Best, may be I was too confident kot sampai menakutkan orang. hehehe.... Seriously, i"d do what any other girl would do. Tapi rezeki bukan berpihak pada I. Mungkin juga it was at the wrong timing, although I don't think so.. I think the timing is just right.. and I may have altered my life journey back then without realizing it... Tapi, like I say, ALLAH knows best kan..
Then, I stop trying.. Till i was ready again.. But then, it's just a Test all over again. Money, status and studies is the issue. I am glad that he is happily married now. If not, before coming to Adelaide, my peaceful night was disturbed with never ending miss calls late at night, disturbing smses.
At this point of time, the words above really make sense. I am not afraid to say 'I love you" but i am afraid of the response. I am even more afraid when some one say he like me, (like me - like me), because I am not sure if he is like betul ke idak... I am also not afraid to say "i love you " to someone that i like, but at the same time i am afraid of the response...He might like other person and might not like me... I am too afraid to get myself hurt again..once bitten, twice shy... Somehow rather, all THESE things seems to be too complicated for me right now.. Age increasing, and skeptical about my looks and stuff...
I guess, i'll just have to prepare myself. Although no one is pressuring me into that path, but i know deep down in my parents heart, they want me to be in that path.. i know... but, I don't know, something that you like may not be good for you and something that you don't like might be good for you... but ALLAH knows best. May ALLAH guide me and show me the way. Don't let me talk about match making coz that's even more hurting, hey, I am not as beautiful and stunning as my mom ( people always thought that her daughter is as beautiful as her and got frustrated that her daughter is NOT ) Although i think, I got almost of her good deeds and good traits, only i don't have her looks. She has shaped me into what I am today, only i am not beautiful enough.. Mata manusia kan, semua nak yang cantik je kan hehehe.. Itu Lumrah dan adat... orang nak match make pun, jadi tak jadi nak maatch make. hehehe... this is a true story okay ;) i felt sorry for my mom though... but what can i do more kan ...
Well, I am not suppose to think of this kind of stuff right now.. hehehe.. Apa la dey Skuna oi... hehehe...
Pi sambung writing pi !!!! Speatutnya tulih thesis , dia pi tulih blog pulak !!!!
1 comment:
i feel you on this one. but not everyone is ready to give so much and receive so little in return. like you said, god knows best.
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